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Thursday, July 9, 2020

Throwback Thursday

Written in 2012, this one hasn't actually been available for a few years. I've brought it back just in time for an "olympic" season. 

Digging for Gold

Olympic beach volleyball hopeful Kenn Majors just took out his shoulder during a surfing charity event and now the whole world's on his back, from his teammate to his father, to get back into shape in time for the Worlds, and then the Olympics. His new trainer, Dusty, is just one more change that's happened since he injured himself, and Kenn's not sure if he's coming or going. What's more, Dusty's a hot guy who's also gay. 

Will Kenn be able to keep his attraction under control and manage to get his shoulder back to where it needs to be in time to win at the Worlds? Or does the whole situation have disaster written all over it?



“What are you gonna fucking do, dude?” Dave’s voice cut across the room where Kenn sat, head down, arm still propped up in a brace.

“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to.” Kenn hadn’t meant to in a deep, truly sorry sort of way.

“No shit you didn’t mean to, you stupid fuck, but you did. What were you thinkin’, man? Surfing? For fucking charity? We’re a team!”

“I didn’t think I’d wipe out.” And shit, Steph’d already come and chewed his ass like no other coach on earth. Steph. Mom. Dad. Julie. Jennifer. Pete, his dorm-mate. “I don’t need this shit from you, asshole.”

“I know, but…” Dave plopped down beside him. “Shit, you’re my partner, dude. You got my back. The World Cup Finals are in seven months. They’re saying you’re in that fucking brace another month.”

Kenn nodded. He was. Then six weeks without weight bearing. “I can do it. I won’t let you down.”

“Mercy’s pregnant.” Dave’s head dropped into his hands. “We’re going to get married.”

“Fuck. Damn.”

Scared brown eyes looked at him, and suddenly Dave seemed younger than him, even. “I know, right? That and then this… We gotta make it to the Olympics, dude.”

“We will.” They’d been on the competitive circuit together since the day he turned eighteen. Four years and two national championships.

“I still can’t believe you fucked up your goddamned arm.”

“Me either.” It was all just supposed to be fun—goof off, eat, ride a few waves. When the board had flipped and come down on his head and shoulder, the whole damn world had gone black for days. Three whole days.

Shit, he’d missed fucking Christmas day.

Dave ran his hands through his hair, sighed hard. “What’re you going to do?”

“Get a trainer. Get better quick. Hope my dad doesn’t kill me?” He was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be graduating in May.

“A trainer.” Dave nodded, looking more hopeful. “You’re going to work your ass off, right?”

“No, fuckhead. I’m going to be the King of Slack. I’m going to fuck off royally and bring you down. Shitass.” Like he’d ever fucked off. Ever. He was a fucking Bio major with a 4.0, a world-class volleyball player, a competitive surfer, and he frigging volunteered with PETA, for Christ’s sake.

“Fuck you, asshole. It’s not just me anymore, is it?”

“No. No, but it’s never just one of us.”

Dave sighed, nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. I just…worried, yeah?”

“I’ll be back at drills in six weeks. Back at practices right after that.” A break was good, right?

“You better be, dude. I need you at my back.”

“Shit, man. That’s what I do.”

Dave was his fucking partner, his goddamn best friend, and the best setter in the world, so long as Kenn was there to dig for him.

“So this is it then? See you in six weeks?”

“Well, you could come have a beer with me sometime. I’m not dead.”

Dave laughed. “As long as you don’t get drunk and clip the other one, yeah?”

He lifted his right arm and flipped Dave off. “Fuck you, buddy.”

“Yeah, and you, too.”

They laughed together and, for a minute, Kenn could believe he wasn’t screwed.


Dusty parked his car at the beach and headed out toward the waves. He loved the beach in the early morning. The sand underfoot, the sound of the waves. The only people around were the hard-core surfers and a few runners. It was great. He walked down by the waves for ten minutes or so, before he started looking for his appointment.

Stephanie Connor had called him a week ago, frantic about one of her athletes—Kenn Majors. Everybody in the scene had heard what had happened to him over Christmas, but Dusty, just like everyone else, assumed the man was out for the year. Apparently Kenn and Stephanie thought that was a bad idea.

Dusty saw the man in the sling, jogging at the edge of the surf, solid and stacked. Working hard despite the injury. It was a good sign. As long as the guy didn’t overdo. It’d be a shame for that beautiful body to be injured any longer than necessary.

“You Dustin, man?” Sun-bleached blond hair, huge green eyes—damn, that was a pretty man.

“I am. And you’re Kenn Majors.” He held out his hand.

“You know it. Thanks for meeting me.” The shake was strong, sure.

“It’s my pleasure. I’ve seen you play—you’re great.” They started walking together along the beach. “Frankly, I was surprised when Steph called me with the news that you wanted to be back in shape by Worlds. You ready for the work that’s going to take?”

“I don’t have any classes this semester. I don’t have anything else to do. Moved out of the dorms and everything.”

“Girlfriend?” They could be huge distractions, and if Kenn was going to make it to the Worlds, there could be no distractions.

“That’s between me and my coach.”

“Sorry, Kenn, but if I’m going to be your trainer, I need to know what else is going on in your life.” Food, social life, sleep—how long and when—as well as exercise and training routine; he was going to be in all of Kenn’s business, and if the man couldn’t take it, then it wasn’t the right partnership.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” There was a story there, he’d bet.

“If we work together, I’ll be setting your schedule, your diet, your regimen.”

“Whatever I have to do. I have to play.”

smut fixes everything

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Cloverleaf Dinner Roll Recipes

I was asked for the recipe for my cloverleaf dinner rolls, so I'm putting it here.

I got my recipe from 300 Best Canadian Bread Machine Recipes by Dinna Washburn & Heather Butt and I highly reccommend this book if you have a bread machine. Tons of recipes, both savory and sweet, simple and complicated and every time I've wanted to bake some sort of bread or roll, they've had a recipe for me. I have a bunch that I make on a regular basis - rolls, hamberger buns, challah, sourdough, white bread, french sticks, just to name a few.

Cloverleaf Dinner Rolls

Put into your bread machine:
1 1/3 cups milk (room temperature)
1 1/4 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons granulated sugar
2 Tablespoons butter (room temperature)
3 1/4 cups bread flour (white)
1 1/4 teaspoon bread machine yeast

(You can use all purpose flour and instant yeast, I just find if I use the bread machine versions of both I have better success with my dough)

Select the dough cycle and let it run.

Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and rest for about 10 minutes.

Divide the dough into 12 portions, devide each portion into 3 balls. Place 3 balls into each cup of a lightly greased muffin tin. Don't worry too much about size - I always have some that are bigger and some that are smaller - I try to mix the balls up so that if I have a really big one, I'll also put in a smaller one so they all wind up with about the same amount of dough in them. Cover and let rise in a warm, draft-free place for 30-45 minutes. What I usually do is let them rise for about 30 minutes, and then turn on my oven and throw them in once it's come up to temperature, but your experience may vary depending on the warmth of your kitchen and your elevation.

Bake in a pre-headted 375 degree oven for 15-20 minutes - I always check after 15 so I don't burn.

They are ready when they are brown on top and sound hollow when you take one out and tap it on the bottom.

As soon as they come out of the oven, brush with melted butter. 

They taste best the same day - I'll make them to come out of the oven about 1-2 hours before supper to include them with supper. But they last a few days in an airtight container. 

smut fixes everything

Top Ten Tuesday

It''s no secret I don't like the heat. At least at the moment the humidity isn't as nearly as bad as it can be some summers, so it's that little bit better. Anyway, I thought it would be the perfect time to do a top ten list about what I love about winter!

Top Ten Things I Love About Winter

  1. Snow! I love snow in all it's forms, but especially the great big slow flakes that leave the world hushed.
  2. Getting to wear hoodies! I really enjoy wearing sweaters and hoodies and just can't the rest of the year 'cause they make me too hot.
  3. Christmas! I do love the holiday season. Decorating and giving gifts and making cookies for people makes me happy.
  4. My birthday! I'm a winter baby.
  5. Cold weather! Give me a cold day over a hot day anytime.
  6. Blue skies! On the coldest of days there is very little humidity in the air and the sky is this incredibly blue blue that it doesn't get any other time of year.
  7. Less daylight! Yeah, yeah, I know this makes me a weirdo, but I like the shorter days. I am not a fan of sunshine and much prefer shorter days (sure by about March I'm ready for longer ones again, but as soon as the heat hits I'm looking forward to winter again.)
  8. No bugs! I have never seen a mosquito here in the middle of winter.
  9. White Hot Chocolate! I can have it during the summer if I want to, but there's nothing like a white hot chocolate on a cold winter's day. It warms you from the inside out.
  10. Snowstorms! The world becoming blanketed and quiet and everyone staying inside and watching. 
I don't know why I used exclamation marks for all of those...

Anyway - can you tell that I love winter?

smut fixes everything

Monday, July 6, 2020

Movie Monday

Wow, I missed all of June! Welcome to me and heat - I hide even online *grins*

So movies - BFG and Artemis Fowl both watched on Disney in the same weekend. I loved one, the other I couldn't stay awake while watching...






So Artemis Fowl was the one I was disapointed in. There were some neat features, but it could have been so much better than it was. I think it didn't help that the main character just wasn't that likeable. Of course, I'm also not the intended audience, so possibly the younger crowd would have appreciated him more, I don't know and I don't have young ones anymore to give me their opinion. Having said that, I've enjoyed many an animated or aimed at the younger crowd movie so...

I hadn't seen BFG before and figured I'd give it a try because I remember thinking it looked neat back when it was originally out and had previews up for it. I really enjoyed this movie (I wasn't sure that I would, as I don't always enjoy animated stuff.) This one was charming, though. The two main characters were great and I loved the overall feel of the movie as well as the story. 

If you can only pick one of the two to watch - definitely go for BFG!

Happy monday!
smut fixes everything

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Sneak Peek Sunday

Today I'm doing a sneak peek of my June release - Stephen, book one of the the BOY ISO series.

Look for the cover reveal tomorrow!

The excerpt is still raw, so please excuse any errors and look for the book on June 23, pre-order coming soon!

BOY ISO book 1

Bad boy ISO someone to make me behave. Punishments welcome. Strict Daddy Dom necessary. Will consider a pair.

When Champ reads the ad on the internet, the dragon shifter is immediately intrigued and contacts the boy who wrote it. When a quick phone conversation leads to the boy sharing his address, Champ heads over, unhappy that a boy would not only leave his phone number on the internet, but then just give out his address. When he knocks on the door, he’s ready to show this boy exactly what kind of punishments he can meet out.

Stephen would like to be a boy, but he’s been burned, and badly, in the past, so he’s not in the lifestyle anymore. All that changes when he answers the door and meets Champ. It doesn’t matter that Champ was expecting to meet Stephen’s roommate Marc, the big Daddy falls for Stephen immediately and insists that while there was an initial mix-up, Stephen is the one he’s actually there for

Patience, kink, and confidence may not be enough for this Daddy to win his boy over, but add in the magic of love and dragons and it’s a whole other story.


Chapter One

Bad boy ISO someone to make me behave. Punishments welcome. Strict Daddy Dom necessary. Will consider a pair.

Champagne purred as he read the ad, his prick taking notice. Oh yes, he was a strict Daddy and this boy sounded like a wonderful diversion. 

Bernoise raised an eyebrow and grunted at him. “What’s gotten your attention?”

Champ shook his head. “Nothing.” This one was his. Berny and France could find their own bad boy to punish. 

“You know I don’t believe you.”

He shrugged as he pocketed his phone. “That’s your prerogative.” He headed out of the penthouse apartment, and only looked at his phone again once he was in the elevator on the way down.

There was a phone number with the ad, so he called it.

It took a few rings, but then he heard a curious, “Hello?”

“This is your Daddy, boy.”

“Oh, fuck me. Seriously?”

Yes, and he wasn’t going to allow cursing, and he was going to blister his boy’s ass for putting his phone number online.

“Language, boy. I’m on my way over—I need your address.” He waited for his boy to suggest meeting somewhere and not just giving a total stranger his number .

“It’s 41904 Linc Avenue, apartment 8A .”

Son of a bitch, his boy wasn’t going to sit for a week. “I’ll be there in fifteen.” He cut the call off and stepped off the elevator, pulling up his Uber app. 

His phone rang, but he didn’t answer. He was going to go get this boy and show him strict punishments.

It was ridiculous. No safeword, no names, just here’s my home address, person I don’t know from Adam. Very strict punishments.

His car arrived in a few moments and he got in, sat back, planning how he was going to start. 
His boy obviously needed the firm hand he was asking for. He would introduce himself and find out what the hell the boy was thinking.

He arrived at the building that housed his boy, still worked up over the lack of care for his own safety this boy was taking. It made him glower and grumble. He took the elevator to the fourth floor, then went right, and there he was in front of 8A. He knocked firmly.

“Hold up! I’m coming!” The door opened, and a gorgeous young man, with copper hair, one light blue eye, one dark brown, appeared. “Can I help you?”

Time stopped. It simply stopped, and the glow around this man began to  pulse, calling to him.

Growling, he stepped in, staring. “Daddy’s here, boy.” 

“I—are you looking for Marc?” 

No. No, he was looking for this boy. His boy.

“Nope. You’re my boy—Daddy’s here. I just need your safeword.” 

“My safeword?   But I don’t know you…” The boy stepped away. “I don’t think you’re looking for me. I think you’re looking for my roommate, Marc. I’m Stephen.”

He wasn’t interested in any Marc. This was his boy. “I’m looking for you, boy. I’m Champagne and you can call me Daddy. Are you telling me you don’t have a safeword?”

“I used to. Not for a long time. I’m not a player anymore.”

“No, I’m not playing. Tell me your safeword.” This wasn’t some silly boy. This was his boy. 

“Bubbles.” Stephen stood and stared at him, and he could feel energy pulling them together.

“Bubbles it is. You didn’t put in an ad online, did you?” He knew the answer was no. It made him want to snarl, that this Marc would act so dangerously and then duck out, leave Stephen alone to face the consequences. 

“An ad? For what? I’m telling you, man, you’re looking for Marc.”

“I was looking for Marc, but then I found you.” Such a lovely boy, and the glow around him warmed Champ all the way to his bones.

“You don’t even know if I do guys…” Stephen was pouring pheromones, curiosity and hunger thick on the air.

“Boy, you are screaming for me with every inch of your body.” He knew Stephen could feel the pull—it would be impossible not to.

“I don’t even know you. You just showed up here.” Stephen groaned softly, cock tenting his soft pants. “Maybe…...maybe we could have coffee?”

“I was about to suggest that. Maybe something sweet to go with it, hmm?” He wanted to lick sugar from Stephen’s lips.

“Let me get dressed. Can I meet you at the Second Cup next door? Then we can talk.”

He didn’t want to leave without his boy, but he trusted that Stephen was a boy of his word. Besides, he knew where Stephen lived. And while he’d come in loaded for a spanking to teach the advertiser a message, this was clearly not the boy in question. 

“What can I get for you?” He liked the white hot chocolate at Second Cup himself.

“Can I please have a white chocolate latte? I’ll be ten minutes, tops.”

“See you there.” He stepped back and let Stephen close the door, watching the glow of his boy until it was entirely cut off. Wow. That was… amazing. He couldn’t wait to start a relationship with his boy.
There was no doubt that this one was his. None.

smut fixes everything

Friday, May 29, 2020

Dragon Books on Sale!

You've still got a couple of days to pick up the following Dragon books, all on sale until end of day May 31. They are all 99 cents except for Seduced by the Tide!

A Private Hunger

What happens when you find out the man you’re in love with is actually a dragon?

Matthew is taking a break before going to university, working at a cafe in Seattle. He expects to spend a few months meeting people, having fun and generally living it up before hitting the books. Then he meets Drakon, a passionate, masculine man with an animal magnetism that draws Matthew in.

As Matthew moves in with Drakon on his country estate and slowly finds himself cut off from the world around him, he begins to wonder if that animal magnetism is more literal than figurative and if Drakon would be more aptly named Dragon.

Will Matthew stay with the man he’s growing to love once he discovers Drakon’s long-lived, carefully guarded secret?

Originally released by other publishers.

Buy link:

Blowing Smoke

Do dragons have soul mates?

Brinley Adams is pleased to get a job as assistant to elusive and reclusive billionaire Lindrom Drage. That the job requires him to live in the man’s home in the country is only a bonus. While he’s not exactly running away, he’s trying to leave behind a crazy, stalking ex, and Drage’s isolated home might be just the place to hide.

Lindrom Drage, known at home as Dragon, just wants an assistant who works out for longer than a month or two. He’s already gone through several in the last year, and he wants someone who can do the job and put up with his refusal to deal with anything that takes him out of his home. But when he meets Brin, he suddenly wants so much more than just a work assistant.

Brin doesn’t know his boss is actually a dragon. The trick is going to be convincing Brin that neither of them is crazy, and that not only are dragons real, so are soul mates.

This book is a reprint. The publisher has changed.

Buy links:

Flying With Dragons

Having annoyed the council, Grunk is assigned the job of Director of Human/Dragon Relations. Unfortunately for Grunk, he hates the city, he'd rather be in his dragon form than his human one, and he already hates the job even though it’s only his first day.

Then he meets his assistant, Kyfan, and he's instantly smitten. When he finds out that Kyfan has never really flown and rarely spends any time in his dragon form, Grunk is shocked and insists on changing that, immediately. After all, flying with the lovely Kyfan's way better than sitting behind his desk in his office.

It turns out that Kyfan is a lovely little dragon and once they've flown together, Grunk knows that they share a bond and he prepares to make his claim. The fact that it's going to annoy the council is only a bonus.

Originally released with another publisher.

Buy links:

Healing Fire

What will it take for a dragon prince to defy his father and fly on his own?

Prince Jules, the least favorite of the Dragon King's children, lives simply, banished to his rooms and the amazing adventures found in his books. He has never left the palace or shifted into his dragon form…he's never done anything.

Dragon shifter Lem is assigned to Jules as the prince's new bodyguard, and is determined to keep Jules safe from the Graithen, who killed the prince’s previous guardian. Lem grows to hate how the King hides Jules away, and longs to show him how to fly. His love for Jules also grows but it is forbidden, like so much in Jules' life.

When the Graithen attack again, though, everything changes.

This book is a reprint. The publisher has changed.

Buy links:

Branded by Flames

Meet the Beteferoce brothers. Five dragon shifters, each with a strong elemental power. And each with a fierce desire to find his soul mate

For years, dragon-shifter-slash-firefighter Jake has been searching for his mate, but he's beginning to tire of the search. Maybe soul mates are only for the lucky few.

Then he meets Shae.

A former navy welder, Shae is handsome, talented, into power play and rough sex, and covered in dragon tattoos. All of this suits the shape-shifting dragon just fine-until he finds out that Shae literally has Jake's family crest already tattooed on him. A coincidence? Or something more…

Jake must convince Shae to trust him as a man and as a Dom before the heat between them burns out of control. Becoming a dragon's mate is not without danger, and Shae will need Jake's guidance-and love-if he's going to make it through alive.

Buy links:

Seduced by the Tide

Meet the Beteferoce brothers. Five dragon shifters, each with a strong elemental power. And each with a fierce desire to find his soul mate…

Deke has yet to meet a man who gives him a rush. Coast Guard rescue has kept the dragon shifter busy, but there’s no harder work than finding a mate. Then comes Bryan. Bearded and inked, the personal trainer turned mechanic smells of grease, sweat and red meat. How irresistibly human can you get? And when it comes to hot, slamming sex, they’re the perfect fit. Now all Deke has to do is to tell Bryan what he really is, and what he has planned for them.

Bryan has never met anyone like Deke, a consuming lover with a body so arousing it damn near hurts. And he knows how to use every inch of it. Yet he can’t shake the feeling that Deke is hiding something. Just not this—the stud he’s falling for is a centuries-old dragon who has marked him as a mate.

Bryan has to admit that something inside him is changing. For the first time ever, he’s satisfied, body and soul. If Deke really is telling the truth, this could be his destiny—if he’s ready to face it.

Book two in the Dragon Soul series 

Buy Links:

smut fixes everything

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Top Ten Tuesday

If you have suggestions for top ten lists, please let me know or I'll wind up doing stuff like today's top ten favorite articles of clothing to wear

Top Ten Favorite Articles of Clothing To Wear (in no particular order)

  1. pyjamas - the softer the better, but not too warm - I love to lounge in them
  2. hoodie - again, the softer the better, I prefer 'em a little oversize and with a zipper up front.I have one I got in Texas when visiting BA and the zipper is now broken, but it's still wonderful to wear.
  3. hats - I have to wear a hat in the sun or I get sunstroke, so I have a lot. A lot. The one I wear when walking in the summer is like the one to the right only purple. But I tend to buy ball caps as souvenirs whenever I go anywhere.
  4. leggings - softer the better (sensing a theme?) and I don't like them too tight, but I prefer them to any other kind of pants
  5. t-shirt - you guessed it, I like them soft, and I hate it if the collar is small and touches my throat. I like v-necks a lot because of this.
  6. sleeveless t-shirts - soft, cool, the best thing for summer
  7. shawls - I have a couple I like for when it's cool in the house or cooler but not cold outside
  8. sweater - I don't wear one often, but in the evening in spring and fall if I'm outside, they're great - I have a jack skelington one that goes to halfway down to my knees and it's gotten softer as it's been washed.
  9. flip-flops - not the kind that separates the little toes from the big toe - I hate those, but the ones that have a strap across the top of your foot. There's these ones that are cushiony and super comfy and I wear them year round in the house (I have diabetes and have to be careful of my feet)
  10. Okay, so there isn't actually ten. Honestly, I like my clothes comfy and easy to wear and while I will wear dresses and socks and shoes and whatnot when I have to, I don't particularly enjoy wearing any of them. 

smut fixes everything

Monday, May 11, 2020

Movie Monday

We were going to watch the three new Planet of the Apes moies, but it turns out none of them are available on the numerous streaming services that we have and I wasn't going to pay 14.99 for a movie that I have on blu-ray somewhere in the house. And yes, we were too lazy to go find the physical blu-rays!

Instead I'll share the three series that we binged over the last week.

Black Summer
Into the Night


Black Summer is a zombie show that is very intense. It follows about half a dozen people trying to make it from a suburb to a stadium downtown where the healthy are supposedly being airlifted out to safety. The main female hero put her daughter on a truck taking people there but wasn't able to go with her, so she's extremely motivated to get there to reunite with her girl. They pick people up along the way, and lose people along the way as well. The whole thing is like one long movie, and it's extremely intense. One episode in particular had me on the edge of my chair the entire time between the music and the situation. As always, it's the people and not the zombies who are the most horrific part of the show. If you like zombie stuff, I definitely recommend this one. And it ends in a good place, but I think there's another season coming as well.

Upload is a short series - ten episodes iirc but they are all about a half hour. It's funny and sweet and has a mystery as well. It's very easy to binge and we watched it in a couple of evenings. Lots of characters, most of whom are just a little crazy at the very least. This one does end on a cliffhanger and I really hope that they do another season! Lots of fun and I'd recommend it.

Into the Night is a Belgium production and it's intense and facinating, and the hubby who constantly bitches about shows who have science based stuff in them, was very pleased because every grumble or question he had, wound up being addressed. This is another one that feels more like a very long movie instead of episodes, so another one easy to binge - it was our weekend viewing. Very character driven and they were all very interesting and the acting was superb. The last one ends in a good place, but again totally open to another season, which I hope happens. I highly recommend this one.

Happy Monday all!
smut fixes everything

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Happy Mother's Day to all those in the role of 'Mother"

So with families having far more different make-ups than a man, a woman and kids these days, there are so many different people who are the 'mother'. Maybe you are a traditional mother. Maybe you're a single mother. Maybe you're a father who also fills the role of mother, maybe you're the mother of your friends group. Maybe you're the mom of your office. So for anyone who considers themselves a mother - Happy Mother's Day to you!

The Mannies books all feature single dads and mannies, and I have a number of other books with families with two fathers. Here's an easy to access list.

Mannies Incorporated
Amazon or Kobo 

A Family of His Own
Amazon or Kobo

And Manny Makes Seven
Amazon or Kobo

Three To Get Ready
Amazon or Kobo

Making it Work
Amazon or Kobo

Family Portrait
Amazon or Kobo

Composing a Family
Amazon or Kobo

Stress and the Modern Dad
Amazon or Kobo

First Steps
Amazon or Kobo

Daddy Needs a Date
Amazon or Kobo

Daddy, Daddy and Me
Amazon or Kobo

Unlikely Hero
Amazon or Kobo

Add Love and Mix
Amazon or Kobo

Of Love
Amazon - Kobo coming soon!

Amazon or Kobo

Happy Mother's Day!
smut fixes everything

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Smutterday - Unlikely Hero

As promised, here is a smutty excerpt of Unlikely Hero, which is back up on Kobo and Amazon.

Unlikely Hero

When his three-year-old daughter is kidnapped, Eric Wilson doesn’t have many options, and time is running out. With nowhere else to turn, he reaches out to his ex, influential businessman Brock Vencenza, whose money and contacts might be able to save Josie.

Brock never got over Eric’s loss, and he’s more than willing to help when Eric needs him most. Together with law enforcement and private security, they embark on a twisting investigation to find the little girl—and who wants to hurt her and destroy both men in the process. Under the circumstances, confessing he still has feelings for Eric would be inappropriate, but Brock can’t deny what’s in his heart. He doesn’t know if their love can be rekindled or if he can even protect Eric and Josie. But one thing is certain: Brock’s determined to be the hero in reality that he is in Eric’s eyes.

Originally released by other publishers.

Buy links:

Smutty Excerpt

He surprised himself, and probably Eric, too, by kissing him on the mouth. Eric’s lips were as soft, as warm as he remembered from earlier, that body lean and angular where it pressed against him. Groaning, he deepened the kiss; his tongue slipped into Eric’s mouth. He felt Eric’s moan as well as heard it, Eric’s tongue sliding against his own.

Need surged through his body, sudden and unexpected. Brock groaned and slid his hand around Eric’s head, fingers tangling in the raw silk of that soft hair. Eric’s hand slipped up his arms, wrapped around his shoulders. It felt good. Really good.

He kept kissing Eric, not wanting to think, just feel and enjoy this moment. He could feel Eric’s cock, full, pressed against his thigh, a hot bulge in the soft slacks. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. Hell, he wasn’t sure Eric was even up for this.

He didn’t stop, though. He just let himself get lost in Eric’s mouth.

“Take me to bed. Touch me. Please.”

“Anything you want, baby.” He meant it, too. He’d do anything for Eric.

He leaned them back onto the bed, fingers searching for skin. Eric wrapped around him, the low hum filling his lips. He found the hem on Eric’s shirt and slowly pushed it up, his fingertips moving over skin.

Eric was soft, smooth, warm under his fingertips. So good. Then his fingers hit the scars. A surge of anger went through him, and his fingers curled into fists.

“Hey, they’re kinda hot, huh?” Eric pulled back, gave him a wan, worried smile.

He chuckled and leaned in to kiss Eric. “Once that kid is locked up, then they’ll be hot.”


He sobered and met Eric’s eyes. “I do.”

“Okay.” Eric took his hand, pressed it flat against that taut belly.

“You want me to make love to you?” He would. He wanted to.

“Only if you want it, too. If you don’t, I’ll just rest close.”

“As long as I won’t hurt you, I want it, too.”

“Then love me, Brock. I… I haven’t.” Eric pushed close, lips pressing against his.

He deepened the kiss immediately, tongue sliding into Eric’s mouth, tasting salt. Eric moaned, fingers pushing into his hair and dragging him in closer. He was careful, not rolling Eric beneath him, but kissing with growing passion.

Eric wasn’t as careful; those fingers opened buttons and pushed to touch his skin, to touch him. He groaned, arching into the little strokes and pinches.

“I want you. All of you. God, you’re still so fine….” Eric’s voice trailed off.

“I don’t want to hurt you. Maybe we should just jack each other off.”

“Let me taste you.”

Oh fuck, he wasn’t going to say no to that; he wasn’t sure he could. “Okay.”

Eric slid down, lips soft and hot on his chest, on his belly. Around the tip of his cock.

“Baby. God.” His hands found Eric’s head again, fingers catching in Eric’s hair.

“You still smell so good.” Eric opened, tongue sliding over his skin. The things that came out of Eric’s mouth.

He spread his legs restlessly.

“Mmm-hmm.” Fingers dragged up along his inner thighs, pressing in deep.

“I forgot how good you are at this.” Only he hadn’t. Not really.

“I like it.”

He hadn’t forgotten that. “It’s good from this end, too.”

Eric groaned, cheek sliding against his cock, the stubble there barely rasping.

“Please.” He whimpered, hips jerking.

“Yeah….” Eric’s lips were perfect—hot and wet and tight and perfect. He looked down his body, watching in amazement and pleasure as Eric’s head bobbed. He’d thought he’d never see that sight again.

smut fixes everything

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Throwback Thursday

Some years back I started a new series called The Kennel Klub about a BDSM club where men could come and be matched up with shifter subs. I did two books in the series and the publisher stopped paying then closed down (a more and more familiar story and why I now self-publish almost exclusively!)

Anyway. The two books are now self-published. They've been on Amazon for a while, but have just been added to Kobo.

Brush and Whip

The Kennel Klub takes pride in matching dominant shifters with the perfect mate. Theo Brundy is looking for just that: someone to pleasure, to love, to take care of. Having lived most of his life forced into his were form by the cruel man who killed his parents, Theo uses his human form as a shield, both physically and emotionally. No one can hurt him if he's human.

Drew hasn't shifted in more than a year. After spending his life serving a cruel alpha, he was cast aside when the alpha married another. Drew has found that it's easier to protect himself if he's a wolf. A sub at heart, Drew is both apprehensive and desirous of the idea of losing control.

Can these two men find what they need in each other, both in bed and out of it?

Previously released by another publisher.

buy links:

Pack and Mate

New to the city, Finn never dreamed he’d have a mate of his own, especially not one found at the Kennel Klub, where spankings are optional.

Sweet beta werewolf Finn is at a party for his cousin’s collaring when he first meets Cort. It’s just too bad Finn has to leave with his twin brother and packmates before the two can really connect.

Cort, Alpha male all the way, is immediately drawn to Finn and knows the sweet pup is his mate and he’s ready to do whatever it takes to find Finn again. Once he does, is he going to be able to convince Finn that they belong together? Or will Finn’s family commitments keep them apart?

Previously released by another publisher.

buy links:

smut fixes everything

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Book Day Wednesday

I put Unlikely Hero back up on Kobo and Amazon - and it finally turned up on Amazon! So yay!

Unlikely Hero was a lot of fun to write, between the kidnapping, the former lovers, the kid, the hurt/comfort, it's got a little bit of everything in it! There's an excerpt below, and I'll do a smutty excerpt from it on Saturday :)

Unlikely Hero

When his three-year-old daughter is kidnapped, Eric Wilson doesn’t have many options, and time is running out. With nowhere else to turn, he reaches out to his ex, influential businessman Brock Vencenza, whose money and contacts might be able to save Josie.

Brock never got over Eric’s loss, and he’s more than willing to help when Eric needs him most. Together with law enforcement and private security, they embark on a twisting investigation to find the little girl—and who wants to hurt her and destroy both men in the process. Under the circumstances, confessing he still has feelings for Eric would be inappropriate, but Brock can’t deny what’s in his heart. He doesn’t know if their love can be rekindled or if he can even protect Eric and Josie. But one thing is certain: Brock’s determined to be the hero in reality that he is in Eric’s eyes.

Originally released by other publishers.

Buy links:


BROCK VENCENZA glad-handed the board members, smiling and nodding, making all the right noises. He just had to wrap this up and then he was off to the Cayman Islands for some richly deserved R & R. Deep-sea fishing, baby.

He saw the last concerned stockholder out the door and headed for his desk, closed down his computer, and tossed a few files into the in-box for Stephanie.

Speak of an angel; his intercom buzzed, Stephanie’s voice coming next. “Brock, there’s an Eric on the phone, says he has to talk to you. He won’t even give me his last name, sir.”

Brock frowned. Eric? Now there was a name he hadn’t heard in a while. Years. A lot of years. Enough years that it couldn’t be the Eric his mind had automatically pulled up.

“It’s probably just a salesman, Steph. Tell him I’m on vacation.” His yacht was calling to him. Calling.

“I already did. Brock, he sounds too upset to be a salesman.”

Brock growled. “Fine. Put him through.” Steph was getting soft if she couldn’t put off a nuisance call. He pressed the button for the outgoing line and barked out his name.

“Brock? Brock, it’s me. Please, love. I need help.” It was his Eric—his silly, goofy, soft-hearted, ridiculously idealistic to the point of absolute fucking madness Eric—with hysteria in his voice.

It might have been nine years and Eric might have dumped his ass hard, but Brock didn’t even hesitate. “What do you need?”

“Help. Someone’s kidnapped my daughter.”

Brock stood and grabbed his briefcase. “Where are you?”

“I’m downstairs. The security guard wouldn’t let me in. Please, Brock. Josie’s only three. She’s got to be so scared.”

“Don’t move. I’m on my way.” He hung up the phone and nodded to Steph as he passed her desk on the way to the elevators. “I’m off. You know the cell number if there’s an emergency.”

“Have fun, Brock.”

He nodded to her again as the elevator came.

Two minutes later he was in the lobby, scanning it for his ex. God, nine years. That was a lot of fucking water under bridges that were long ago burned.

Eric Wilson stood there, looking completely out of place in the glass and steel modernity of the lobby, reminding Brock oddly of the Scarecrow from Oz—still as skinny as always, dressed in a button-down, a pair of khakis, a ball cap. Jesus. The man had no fashion sense and was all arms and legs and nose and huge blue eyes and…. Right. Zero fashion sense.


And he looked like he was stressed to the gills.


“Brock.” Eric ran over to him, face drawn, eyes shining. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know where else to go.”

He put an arm around Eric’s lean shoulders and pulled him in for a quick, hard hug. “No problem, baby.” He drew Eric into a quiet corner. “Have you called the cops?”

“No. No, the note said they’d kill her. I just… it’s been almost two hours.” Liquid baby blues stared at him, pupils huge.

“You have the note?”

“I do.” Shaking fingers handed it over, the words already smeared with sweat.

We have your dotter, fag. We want $100,000 or she dies. We’ll call at 7. Have $$ redy. Dont call the cops or she dies.

“Okay, you need a scotch.” Or a Valium. Maybe both. “Come on.” He grabbed Eric’s arm and led him out to the parking lot where his Lexus waited.

“What—what do I do? I don’t….” Eric walked beside him, staying close. “God, if something happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself.”

Brock opened the passenger door for Eric and then went around and got into the driver’s side. “We get you a drink. We pick up the money. We get my people on it.” He unlocked his cell phone and dialed the number for the company that did his security. He was friends with the owner; Gordon was a good man.

Eric clicked his seat belt on, reaching for his wallet.

Brock looked at him. “What are you doing?” Before Eric could answer, a cool woman’s voice said, “Bidden Security, how may I direct your call?”

“Anita? This is Brock Vencenza. I need to speak to Gordon. It’s an emergency.”

“Of course, Mr. Vencenza. Right away.”

The line went quiet, and then Eric handed over a picture of a beautiful, laughing little Chinese girl. “This is her, about a month ago.”

He handed the picture back and squeezed Eric’s hand. “It’s going to be okay, baby. We’re going to get her back.”

smut fixes everything

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Smutterday - Daddy, Daddy, and Me

As promised, here is a smutty excerpt of Daddy, Daddy and Me.

Daddy, Daddy and Me

When Jeff agreed to be the sperm donor to his best friend Beth, he never expected a tragedy to leave his newborn and three-year-old motherless. Beth’s loss has totally thrown his life into chaos: his lover has left him, his house isn’t anywhere near childproof, and his boss feels the restaurant has been patient enough with Jeff’s time off.

Donny has always known he wanted to work with kids, and he just finished his degree in early childhood education. He didn’t count on the prejudice he’d face as not only a male nanny, but a gay one at that. Job-hunting has been frustrating to say the least, so when he knocks on Jeff’s door and is greeted by the sounds of things breaking and a pair of screaming children, he thinks maybe he can begin this particular interview with a trial by fire.

Becoming the nanny to Jeff’s children might be a dream come true for Danny and exactly what Jeff needs, but are either of them ready to really be a family?

Originally released by other publishers

Buy links:

Smutty Excerpt:

They settled at the table, next to each other, leaving the door open so they could still hear the kids if they woke up.

Don made happy noises as he ate—he always let Jeff know his cooking was appreciated, even if it was just something simple like a bacon sandwich.

Jeff found himself watching, enjoying Don, who sucked on one of his fingers, licking it clean. Jeff moaned, then buried his face in his sausage.

Don frowned at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” He took a big bite.

Don shrugged and went back to eating, including some more finger licking when he was done demolishing the food and ran his fingers through the leftover syrup on his plate.

Jeff was going to fucking die. He had to go find someone and get laid.

Don looked over and smiled. “Thanks—this was awesome.”

He tried to answer, but his mouth was dry, so he cleared his throat. “You’re welcome.”

Don’s gaze lingered, his smile slowly fading as he stared.

“I….” Oh fuck. Oh fuck, he wanted.

“Yeah.” Don licked his lips. “You’re… you’re fucking gorgeous, man.”

“I want to kiss you.” The ache in his belly wasn’t getting better. “It’s a bad fucking idea, but I do.”

Don bit his lower lip. “Oh God. That’s what I want too.”

“We shouldn’t.” He reached out, tugged Don’s lip from his teeth.

“No, we shouldn’t.” Don’s lips surrounded Jeff’s fingertip.

Jeff’s knees got weak. Oh fuck….

Don’s eyelids dropped to half-closed, his teeth scraping along Jeff’s finger before letting go. “Wrong, huh?”

“Uh-huh.” He leaned forward, brought their faces closer together.

“So we shouldn’t do this?” Don’s lips touched his, the gentle kiss sparking brightly.

“No.” He wrapped one hand around Don’s nape and tugged them together. This kiss was less gentle, more about learning if that chemistry was real or merely late-night maple syrup.

Don’s lips parted beneath his, the electricity between them sudden and undeniable. Jeff slipped his tongue into Don’s mouth, the tip touching Don’s before he drew it out and used it to trace the curve of that soft bottom lip.

Don’s groan filled his mouth as a soft hand landed on his shoulder and Don’s fingers curled on his skin. Jeff scooted forward, deepening the kiss, letting his tongue press deeper. Don’s other hand landed on Jeff’s head, gripping his hair as Don opened right up to him.

Fuck. He’d never once have imagined sweet, gentle Don as this… needy, forward man. It was hot as hell, and he met that passion head-on.

Don moved out of his chair, kneeled in front of Jeff, and pressed close as the kisses deepened even further. Oh thank God. Those chairs weren’t going to hold both of them. Jeff wrapped his arms around Don, gathering the slim body close.

He could feel Don’s cock pressing against his belly through their clothes, the heat and hardness confirming what the kisses were telling him. His body was equally as hard, as interested, as desirous.

Don fed him a needy, hungry little noise, body humping against his.

“Want you.” Jeff groaned the word against those soft lips as he reached down, cupped that lovely cock.

“Oh damn.” Don bucked into his touch, the words hardly more than needful whimpers.

Jeff pushed his fingers into the loose sweats Don wore, wrapped his fingers around Don’s erection, and started tugging, yanking in steady, sure pulls.

“Oh God.” Don’s breath stuttered, his whole body going tight for a moment. Then he moaned softly and began to move, pushing into Jeff’s hand.

That was it. Like that. Jeff wanted to feel that.

One hand still wrapped in his hair, the other clinging to his shoulder, Don kept moving, undulating, and filling Jeff’s mouth with gasps and excited moans. Jeff watched every second, drank in the need and hunger on Don’s face. He could…. Damn.

“Oh please. Oh. Soon. Jeff….” The words were breathless.

“You’re okay. Come on. So hot, Don.”

“Fuck!” Don’s eyes went wide, and hot spunk poured over Jeff’s hand.

He mashed their lips together again, this kiss long and slow; the only thing keeping it from being lazy was his need. Don’s hands fumbled at his waist, finding and undoing the ties to his chefs’ whites.

“Oh damn.” He spread, nodded. “Yes, please.”

Don pushed Jeff’s pants down, went for his cock, and got a hand around it. “Oh wow. Can I taste?”

All Jeff could do was groan as his ass lifted from the chair in a restless little thrust. “Uh-huh.”

Don bent over him, tongue flicking out to lick across the tip of his prick.

“Don!” The chair arms squeaked as his hands clenched.

Don’s answer was to wrap hot lips around the head, the suction sudden and oh so good. Jeff’s head fell back, his throat working as he pushed up, fucked Don’s lips. Don took him in, hand at the base of his cock to jack it as Don’s tongue licked and slapped. Jesus, Don was good at that. Too good. Brutally good.

Don kept sucking, kept pulling, making Jeff feel like a million bucks, like he was fucking going to explode. His balls drew up tight, his heart skipping a beat. Don hummed, letting go of Jeff’s cock so he could push all the way into Don’s throat.

That was all it took. Jeff shot hard, thrusting into Don’s mouth. Don swallowed him down, tongue busy making sure Jeff got as much out of this orgasm as humanly possible.

By the time Don’s lips left his cock, he was panting, sweating, boneless in the chair. Don stayed kneeling in front of him, head on his thigh.

“I. Wow. Damn.” His world was spinning.

“Uh-huh.” He could feel Don’s smile against his thigh. “Even your spunk tastes good. Gourmet.”

He blinked, then cracked up, laughing hard, tickled deep down. Don grinned at him and slipped back into his own chair, adjusting himself.

“I… I should make waffles more often.”

Donny’s gaze met his, held it. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah.” Damn. Just… damn.

Donny bit his lower lip, looked like he was going to say something for a moment, but in the end, didn’t.

Jeff reached out, touched Don’s leg. “You okay? I mean, you can talk to me.”

“I, uh….” Don cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to think this is why I took the job.”

“Don, when you took the job, I hadn’t slept in two weeks, and I was insane. No one’s that masochistic.”

That had Don chuckling, clearly relaxing. “It’s not going to make it weird between us, is it? I don’t want things to be weird.”

“We’ll just have to make sure it doesn’t. I like you too much to fuck this up.”

Don nodded. “Ditto.” Then Don leaned in again, lips pressing softly against Jeff’s. When Don pulled back, he was smiling, eyes soft, happy.

“You want to”—He blushed, heat rising in his cheeks—“come talk to me while I do dishes?”

“I’d like that. I could even dry.”

Jeff nodded, stood, not able to stop a smile from spreading over his face. “It’s a deal.”

smut fixes everything

Friday, May 1, 2020

Random Friday

Random Friday is... random!

  • baked a second honey buttermilk loaf this week - the hooligans ate it as quickly as they had the first!
  • also baked hamberger buns yesterday
  • tried to make my no bake cherry cheesecake with a diffent pie filling as the topping - I picked up strawberry-rhubarb and raspberry pie fillings. Well, luckily I tastes the strawberry-rhubarb before putting it on. Tasted like fake strawberries, no tart from the rhubarb and I tried a rhubarb chunk, too - no flavor! I tested the raspberry before putting it on and it was better, though still not great. I used it anyway. I guess there's a reason the cherry pie filling is what's traditionally used!
  • baked brownies yesterday
  • baked chocolate chip cookies today for the son because he's wanted the chips ahoy cookies on Monday when we went shopping because he hadn't had them in forever. Now he knows why he hasn't had them in forever. Not great and apparently they didn't soak up any milk, even when he left them in it for ages. So now he has homemade ones :)
  • I discovered hot wings ruffles potato chips - picked one up out of curiosuity on Monday. I enjoy the bite of the spices as I eat them
  • doing large hotdogs for supper tonight
  • I see so far random friday has been all about food....
  • bought a new frying pan that arrived today - all of mine let everything stick to them, so hopefully this one will work better. They claim the diamond shape pattern cut intot he bottom help with browning. We shall see.
  • didn't do much crocheting this week - just a bit one evening, did add a new color to the blanket I'm doing, I'll get it a little farther on before sharing a pic
  • I did take out my adult coloring books and have been doing a bit of coloring - rainbowing everything that I've done so far
  • I have not been sleeping great so last night I took melatonin. I slept over 6 hours, so yay. I did wake up around 6:30 and had to wake the hubby up to go get me a yoghurt drink because my sugars were dangerously low and I didn't trust myself on the stairs.
  • despite the extra sleep, I am headachy today - who knows maybe because of it - I got a decent amount last night, but I'm still in a deficit overall
  • I can't believe it's May already! 
  • I also can't believe it's Friday again already.
Have a great Friday!

smut fixes everything

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Book Day Wednesday

I was inspired to write Daddy, Daddy and Me by a photo of a child's drawing that I saw and thought would make not only an excellent title, but also excellent cover. When the book moved from one publisher to another, I really wanted to have the same child's drawing, or a similar one and I was very happy with the cover that Alexandria Corva came up with - I especially loved the extra detail of the cover being done in alphabet magnets. Unfortunately I wound up having to ask for my rights back for the book a second time, so now it is self-published. But it still boasts the wonderful cover by Alexandria.

I've just put it back up - it's on Kobo and I will share the Amazon link as soon as they let it drop. I've included a nice long excerpt here, and there will be a smutty excerpt on Saturday!

Daddy, Daddy and Me

When Jeff agreed to be the sperm donor to his best friend Beth, he never expected a tragedy to leave his newborn and three-year-old motherless. Beth’s loss has totally thrown his life into chaos: his lover has left him, his house isn’t anywhere near childproof, and his boss feels the restaurant has been patient enough with Jeff’s time off.

Donny has always known he wanted to work with kids, and he just finished his degree in early childhood education. He didn’t count on the prejudice he’d face as not only a male nanny, but a gay one at that. Job-hunting has been frustrating to say the least, so when he knocks on Jeff’s door and is greeted by the sounds of things breaking and a pair of screaming children, he thinks maybe he can begin this particular interview with a trial by fire.

Becoming the nanny to Jeff’s children might be a dream come true for Danny and exactly what Jeff needs, but are either of them ready to really be a family?

Originally released by other publishers

Buy links:


Chapter One 

Donny got off the bus and turned right, like his GPS was telling him to. The address was 3479 Blueberry Lane. Blueberry. He smiled and shook his head. When he’d first seen the ad, he’d thought it was a joke.

It wasn’t, though, and so he was going to give it his best shot. Since graduating with his degree in early childhood care, even his best shot hadn’t been good enough. He was a man, after all.
And a gay one at that.

He’d been interviewed for more jobs than he cared to count, and the only silver lining he could find was that at least he was now an expert at being interviewed.

When he got to 3479 Blueberry Lane, he’d expected it to look like a clone of its neighbors. But it didn’t. This one looked like someone had taken the time to do some planning before it had been built. It was beautiful. He couldn’t see anything in the fenced-off backyard, but the flower beds weren’t quite as neat and tidy as most on the block, and there was a little shovel and a pail sitting in the dirt. Of course, kids would do that to your lawn, leave you with no time to care about what was actually growing in the beds.

He made sure he was all tucked in and that he didn’t have anything stuck in his teeth before he headed up the walk and knocked on the door. There was a bell, but if there were little kids, there was always the chance they were sleeping, and he didn’t figure it would endear him to anyone if he woke the wee ones up.

“Just a second!”

Someone inside screamed, “No! No! No! Daddy Jeff. No!”

Then there was a crash, followed by the wail of an infant.

Good Lord.

He hesitated for no more than half a second before he tried the door; they clearly needed help in there.

A dark-haired little boy came squealing toward him, naked, screaming, covered in what looked like marker, followed closely by a man hopping on one foot, blood dripping from the hand wrapped around the foot in the air. “Robin! Robin, are you okay?”


Donny closed the door quickly and went to his knees to catch Robin before the kid could streak by him. “Hey, buddy, slow down there.”

“No baths! No! No!” Bright blue eyes, filled with tears, met his. “I drawed!”

“I can see that. You know what the problem with no baths and using yourself as paper is?” The boy shook his head. “You run out of places to draw too quickly!” Donny looked past Robin to the good-looking, bleeding man and gave him an empathetic smile.

He got an exhausted grin, a mouthed “thank you.”

Robin frowned, chewing his bottom lip. “Daddy Jeff. Want bath. Now!”

“Okay, Robin. Okay. Let me grab your sister.” The man let go of his foot, and blood sprayed. “And a paper towel.”

“I can either get the little girl or help him with his bath, if you want?” Hands-on help would be an excellent way to prove that despite the fact he was a man, he could do the job and do it well.

“I-I don’t even know you. You—”

The baby started screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Watch the glass. The bathroom’s this way.”

“I’m Donald Gleason. I’m your three o’clock nanny interview.” He lifted Robin up over the glass as he followed Daddy Jeff down the hall.

“Jeff Roberts.” Jeff pulled a huge piece of glass from his foot. “Oh, better.”

God, blood was getting everywhere.

“Sit,” Donny ordered when they got to the bathroom. It wouldn’t kill the little one to cry for another moment as her father got his foot wrapped.

“I need to get Kimberley.”

“Daddy Jeff, you got blood everywhere,” Robin said, eyes wide.

The man sighed. “Yes, Robin, I know.”

“Sit and let me doctor that,” Donny said. “You’re not going to calm her down if you’re flustered.” He grabbed a washcloth, ran it under the water, and then wrung it out. He handed it to Robin. “I’ve got a really important job for you—can you hold this against Daddy Jeff’s foot while I find a Band-Aid?”

“I can. I’m big.” Robin beamed, bounced over, and placed the cloth on Jeff’s foot.

“The Band-Aids are in the medicine cabinet. There’s a lock thing. On the top.” Jeff sounded utterly wiped.

Donny got the child lock undone and found the gauze and the Band-Aids, then grabbed them and handed them over to Daddy Jeff. Jeff. He relocked the cabinet. “Just keep holding that there, Robin. I’m going to get your sister.”

He heard Jeff telling him he didn’t have to, but he followed the wails upstairs into a little room, half-painted, half-decorated, with the most beautiful, tiny, dark-haired baby in a crib, screaming her head off and kicking furiously.

“Well, hello there, beautiful.” He picked her up and leaned her against his shoulder, bouncing her a little. “Don’t you have a good pair of lungs?”

She hiccupped, sobbed a little, her baby head bobbing.

“Aw, sweetie, it’s okay. Things just got a little busy, that’s all. You weren’t forgotten, I swear.” He kept crooning to her, bouncing her as he headed back down the stairs toward the bathroom.

The bath water was running, Robin lecturing his father about temperature very firmly. “You have to make it right. Mommy says not too hot.”

“I won’t make it too hot, Robin.”

Donny hid his grin in the little girl’s hair. “Looks like things are almost under control here.”

“Yes. Let me get him clean and get her changed. I….” Tired blue eyes met his. “I fell asleep.”

“Hey, man, it happens. That’s why you’re advertising for a nanny, right? I’ll change her, and then you can hold her while I doctor your foot. Then we’ll get Robin de-markered. In the meantime”—he turned to Robin—“why don’t you get in and see how much water that tugboat can take on before it sinks?”

“Boats! Daddy Jeff taked me on a boat!” Robin splashed into the tub and almost fell, but Jeff caught him before he went down.

“Nice save.” Donny chuckled and set the little girl on the changing table in the corner, making quick work of her diaper. “What’s this beauty’s name again?” It was something with a K, he thought.


Jeff stood and limped to the linen cupboard to retrieve a fresh washcloth. The bathroom was well-appointed, fancy and fabulous and marble, and incredibly not kid friendly. All that marble would be hell on falls and bumps. While there was a lock on the medicine cabinet, there wasn’t one on the toilet.

“What a lovely name for a lovely girl.”

He took the washcloth when Jeff gave it to him and cleaned her up, got a new diaper on her. “Sit back down, man, and I’ll give her to you, get that foot checked out. And Robin can tell me all about this boat you took him on.”

Robin was laughing and splashing, making a mess and generally ignoring him, which worked too.
Jeff sat on the toilet, held his hands out for the baby. God, the kids looked just like him, both of them.

Donny handed Kimberley over and kept half an eye on Robin while he took a look at Jeff’s foot; as long as Robin was making noise, he knew the kid was okay.

“This looks pretty deep. You should probably keep off it.”

“Yeah. He broke a lamp, and it just shattered.”

“You probably don’t need stitches or anything, though.” He smiled at Jeff. The man was good-looking.

“I don’t. It’ll heal. It has to—I have to work tomorrow.”

Donny decided the gauze would work best and started wrapping Jeff’s foot. “What do you do?”

“I’m the head chef at Dejeuner.”

The restaurant was a famous enough Ottawa spot that Donny’d heard of it, though he couldn’t afford to eat there. “Wow, that’s cool. What’s your wife do?” He finished wrapping and used a clip to keep the gauze in place before settling back on his haunches to look up into Jeff’s face.

“I’m not married.”

Not married. Well, no wonder he was exhausted. Toddlers were hard work; throw in a baby and you could kiss a decent night’s sleep goodbye, especially if you were doing it alone.
Jeff shifted Kimberley, and the baby gurgled. “This has got to be the weirdest interview for you ever.”

“It’s more like a trial by fire than an interview, eh?” Donny grinned up at Jeff, patted the baby on the butt, and turned his attention to Robin. “And how about you—are you ready to help me show your daddy that I know how to do bath time properly?”

“Yes!” Water went flying, the little boy as joyous as he had been hysterical. It was a beautiful thing about that age: emotions were big and swift, and bad moods were usually easy enough to take care of. 
Even when the “terrible twos” lingered into the threes.

Laughing, he wiped the water off his face. It was too bad he hadn’t brought along a change of clothes. He would next time. If there was a next time; he was hoping like hell that he was proving his worth right here and now.

Between the two of them, they got Robin clean, dry, dressed, and sitting at the kitchen table with a snack of apples and cheese. Jeff fixed Kimberley a bottle and then offered him a tired smile. “Would you like some coffee? Water?”

“I’m good, man. I can feed her if you want, while we do the interview.”

“It’s okay. You’ve helped a ton already. Come on, let’s sit at the island, and you can tell me about yourself.”

“Sounds good. This is a gorgeous kitchen,” Donny added as he sat on one of the stools next to the island. Of course, Jeff was a chef—it made sense he had a great kitchen. This one was bigger than most kitchens Donny had seen, though. A table big enough for six sat next to a large window that opened onto a covered porch, which held another table with four chairs around it. The island was fabulous, but the corners hadn’t been covered and would probably do some damage to a little head if it careened into them.

The counters were light marble, and the cupboards were dark with gold knobs. A double oven sat next to the stovetop, and the fridge had one of those ice dispenser things. There was a door out to the porch. The whole thing was bright, and while it was fancy, it was inviting to sit in, and he’d bet to cook in as well.

“Thank you. I had it built just last year.”

“Must have been hard with a little one underfoot.” He gave Robin a grin, the little boy munching away on his apple slices.

“Oh, they just moved in… three weeks ago? Kimberley was only nine weeks old.”

“I thought she looked little-little.” This was clearly not your standard family here. The kids were definitely Jeff’s—they looked too much like him not to be—but Jeff wasn’t married, and they’d only moved in a few weeks ago. “I’m not prying, but I do need to know the family situation if I’m going to work for you.”

Jeff sighed. “The kids were…. God, this is complicated. Beth wanted babies, and she was my best friend. I… I was the donor for both.”

“Okay.” That was a pretty big thing, no matter how good a friend the lady was. He gave Jeff an encouraging look.

Jeff looked down at the baby, rocking her. “She was doing great, was getting ready to go back to work, when….” He stopped, cleared his throat. “There was a fire. She got the kids out. But….”

Oh God. Oh damn. That was… God. “I’m so sorry, Jeff. Man, that’s… I’m so sorry.” What could he say?

“Yeah. It sucked. And I’m their godfather. They came to live with me.” The godfather and the actual father. It made sense, given the circumstances, but at the same time, wow.

“So how long have you had them?”

“Since March twenty-third. Three weeks. My sister, Jillian, she came for ten days at the beginning, but….” Jeff suddenly looked desperate. “My leave at work is short, and what if one of them gets sick? And potty training. He’s wet the bed since he came.”

Someone needed a nap. And it wasn’t Robin. Or Kimberley.

“Sounds like you really need a nanny. Good thing you put an ad in for one.” He gave Jeff a grin. “How many people have you seen?” Was he still in the running? How many of them could have displayed the hands-on skills he had right now? That had to put him in the running, right?

“Twelve.” Jeff sighed. “Ten people who told me I needed to give them to their grandparents, one who wanted to be my live-in lover, and one who lectured me on the evils of butter.”

Donny frowned. “People suck, man—how you decide to raise your children is your business, and dude, butter is awesome.” He thought he definitely had a chance here. For the first time since about his twentieth interview, he had hope that he might get the job. “I’ve got my degree in early childhood care, but no practical experience, unless you count being the coolest uncle to my sisters’ kids. I can start tomorrow—well, even today, I guess. What kind of hours are we talking?” If Jeff was a chef, he was going to work afternoons and evenings, right?

“I work from two in the afternoon to midnight, Tuesday through Saturday. I know that’s like a lot of hours for you, but I’ll provide room and board and a good salary. You’d have Sunday and Monday off, and….” Jeff trailed off. “Do you have references? I should probably ask for those.”

Oh, room and board—he wouldn’t have to bus it in every day, which was a relief if he was going to be here until after midnight on a regular basis. It meant he could bank most of his salary too.

“I do. I have written references in my bag, which I left in the hall, and you can call them too, if you want. It is a lot of hours, but if I’m living in, I’m saving transit time.” And money paying for his own place. “I’ve met the kids and like them, and they don’t seem allergic to me.”

“No. No, they don’t.” Jeff offered him another half smile. Robin was falling asleep in his snack, and the baby was sleeping again. “I’ve never done this before. She wasn’t supposed to die.”

Donny nodded. “Yeah, life has a way of throwing punches. I’d really like to take the job. I could stay the rest of the afternoon as a trial while you get some rest, if you want.”

“You don’t want to see your room or anything?”

“I’ll be honest with you, Jeff. I’ve been to a lot of interviews, and most of the time I barely make it past the first two minutes because I’m a guy. And if I do, well, then I tell them….” He took a deep breath, hoping like hell Jeff wasn’t a homophobic prick. “I tell them I’m gay, and they can’t get rid of me fast enough.”

“You’re family?” Jeff’s eyes went wide.

His own mouth dropped open at Jeff’s words, and then he grinned, nodded. “How about that?”

“I…. Seriously? Are you fucking with me, man?”

“Daddy Jeff! Bad word!”

Donny had to bite his lip, hard, to keep from laughing. “That was a bad word, wasn’t it?”

Robin nodded, then teared up. “Mommy says no bad words.”

Jeff’s eyes closed. “I hate four in the afternoon. He acts like it’s nap time, but then he won’t be able to sleep.”

Shifting his chair closer to Robin, Donny took the little boy’s hand in his. “Sometimes people forget they aren’t supposed to say bad words. That’s what Daddy Jeff did. He’ll try very hard not to say it again, okay?”

He got a solemn nod from Robin, the little boy still sniffling.

“You have any DVDS of the Teletubbies or anything like that? Something he can settle with and chill for forty minutes or so?” If Robin was resisting naps, he would still benefit from some quiet time.

“I bought a bunch of sh—stuff. They lost everything. It’s been crazy.”

“Okay, it’s all good. Why don’t you go put Kimberley down and then put your head down yourself? You look like you haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in a while. Robin and I will check out your DVD collection together.”

He’d bet this job that Robin would fall asleep in front of the TV if they found something gentle to watch. He would also bet that if Jeff got some sleep and relaxed, it would help Robin relax as well.

He really felt for them all, and suddenly he was glad he’d not gotten a job yet. These people needed him. He knew things always happened for a reason; he shouldn’t have stressed about it so hard.

“We’ll all come rest together.”

That was fair—Jeff didn’t know him from a hole in the wall. Donny had no problem with his needing a little more than a bit of help in an emergency to leave the kids alone with him.

Jeff led him to a huge great room, the furniture heavy and leather and masculine, the little child’s beanbag chair next to the dark brown couch looking incongruous. There were shelves full of books and DVDs, a coffee table, and a couple of little tables next to the each of the recliners that bracketed the couch. Knickknacks were all chest height and above, but Donny knew how easy it would be for them to tempt Robin into climbing the shelves to get to them.

He would have to sit down with Jeff after he had managed to get some sleep and talk about some of the things that needed doing to properly childproof the place. Clearly an attempt had been made, but it was amazing how much more was needed. Especially when the baby got old enough to be mobile.

Jeff sat on the couch, the baby on his chest. Before Donny could get a movie on for Robin, the man was sound asleep.

He found a Max & Ruby DVD and put it in. “Where should we sit, Robin?”

“I…. That’s my big boy chair.” Robin pointed to the beanbag.

“Oh, it looks comfy. Is it?”

Robin nodded, chewed his bottom lip. “You can’t fit.”

“No, but I could sit next to you? Or we could sit on the couch together.”

“Okay. With Daddy Jeff?”

At the sound of his name, Jeff twitched.

“Yeah, you can sit between us.” Donny sat on the other side of the couch and patted the space between him and Jeff.

Robin crawled up and settled beside him, little hand on his father’s knee. His thumb popped into his mouth.

Donny held his hand out by Robin’s thigh. “Hold my hand?”

The little boy stared at him for a long, long time; then the thumb came out, fingers placed in his. Donny smiled gently and curled his fingers around Robin’s, then turned his attention to the TV, to getting the DVD going.

Soon the gentle sounds of Max & Ruby filled the room. It took seven minutes before Robin cuddled into Jeff’s side and fell sound asleep. Donny nodded—nap time.

Donny looked at the three of them. The family he was here to take care of. He felt like this was meant to be; they were his family.

Pretty fu—no, not fucking—pretty darn cool.

smut fixes everything